Holiday stress is a popular notion, bigger than Santa almost. In recent years, some shrinks began noticing a spike in requests from patients for refills for anti-anxiety medications around the holidays. And ever since, the media have been obsessed with the paradoxical notion of people being unhappy at the supposedly most joyous time of year.

NOW, further deconstructing the issue, we’re focused on how the stresses are different for men and women.

I, for one, get behind this idea. Of course, it’s in my best interests to do so. My wife, understanding that I feel a little lowly around this time of year, pretty much handles all holiday tasks except those that involve heavy lifting — my pathetic contribution. Were I able to shake off my general malaise, I might have to do more.

And that pretty much sums up the gender difference — women get stressed by the holidays, because all the shopping, cooking, decorating and prettifying become their responsibility, while men feel low. Clinically speaking, though, the two conditions are pretty much the same.

Which raises an interesting question: Why do men hate the holidays? Women at least have an excuse — they’re hassled and have to buy presents for their in-laws.

But men? The answer is complex. If control is an issue in the marital relationship, they’re going to feel a little agitated, because their spouse now holds all the cards. In order for the holidays to happen at all, men must cede all control to their wives. Not only do women get to dictate the events of the next several weeks, they’re racking up big points in the you-owe-me category. So men know that they either have to prepare for their debt coming due on Jan. 2 or provide a big-time present in the interim to offset it.

Which further deepens their misery. Men are lousy shoppers to begin with and generally have no idea what sort of present their wives would appreciate. This has actually been studied: Men buy much more impulsively and spend far more money than women do on gifts, the reason being that they have no tolerance for the experience and want it to be over in five minutes. Their lack of shopping sophistication is illustrated by the following fact: Presents men buy are returned twice as often as those women buy. So men, hoping to express their gratitude, end up paying a ton for a present their wife won’t appreciate and will have to return surreptitiously. Depressing.

Then there’s the forced intimacy of the holidays. Men prefer intimacy on their own terms — usually between the sheets — so when thrust into a family gathering, or a number of family gatherings, in which sitting around and relating to each other is at the top of the agenda, they’re going to experience some severe distress. The mere anticipation of said events is enough to get them to reach for the Prozac.

One last reason men get the holiday blues: They were boys once, and like all kids, enjoyed the holidays. Now they don’t, and that makes them sad.

GO HANG SOME LIGHTS

So what’s the antidote? Just as men’s innate incompetence interferes with their holiday pleasure, their innate desire to engage with the world can counteract it. You may be no good at decorating, buy you can hang lights, so why not hang about 40,000 of them from the eaves of your house and light up the neighborhood? That project could eat up days. If you dread sitting around the house on the national holiday thinking of others, organize a Frisbee football game, toboggan party or, hell, a snowball fight to let off a little steam.

Build your own Christmas tree. Erect a 20-foot-high menorah in the front yard. Carve the wooden figures for a crèche.

Just make sure you give all of the male figures in it plenty of SPACE.